Sunday, June 12, 2011

What Sheila wants, Sheila fights for

Hai the only place I can talk to. well, i don't know what to type, what i'm going to pour out. i don't want to complain much yet this is the only room i have..maybe. i'm grounded, by myself of course. I don't wanna let my feelings ruin my actions . anyhow, i will stay as cheerful as i can be and it will be as easy as abc :) i miss my friendssss esp fiden , um i don't know what to say anymore. won't tell publicly how i feel anymore i promiseee btw the picture above is from tumblr. i'm craving for shaun the sheep and stitch doll. mom has gotten stitch, does anyone know where to purchase shaun? email me! thank you. Have a blessed sunday! Take care :) xoxo,sheila.

"never never give up" - mom

i'm tough, but have I ever done sth wrong to you? why can you do that to me?

Friday, June 10, 2011

I'm tired of being tough..
I'm tired of pretending to be happy..
I'm tired of making excuses..
I'm tired of staying away from the pain..
I'm tired of sleeping only two to three hours in a day..
I'm tired of vomiting the food I have eaten..
I'm tired of being a walking corpse..
I'm tired of faking smiles..
I'm tired of saying 'hahaha' whilst deep inside I always 'sigh'..
I'm tired of taking commands..
I'm tired of valuing each person more than they do..
I'm tired of loving people more than myself..
I'm tired of not allowing myself to be able to just think of myself..
I'm tired of having negative thoughts running through my mind..
I'm tired of avoiding rude words..
I'm tired of keeping quiet..
I'm tired of thinking problems by myself and can't pour it to anyone..
I'm tired of being selfish..
I'm tired of bearing illness..

The feeling when I have to hide everything , hide my feelings and the ones you can talk to aren't really listen to you

I'm so tired..
i wish there's one who listens to my stories without judging , but some words are better left unspoken so that they won't hurt anyone. Therefore , I won't annoy others with my problems yet sometimes I can't fight them all by myself. What to do? Keep quiet.