Friday, September 23, 2011

You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice - tumblr

am at a low point.
returned home without anyone always unpleasant
need to revise many chapters
many pages are waiting to be read
ready to face the sudden stomach cramp and gastric pain
I can I can

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

fly as high as the bird in the sky

the sky during this event

Monday, September 19, 2011

As you sow so shall you reap


Never cross in my mind I will enter the state university and major in law. From the beginning , I took the test for my father's sake. He told me to have a try so that I knew my capability. I sat for the test and I passed it. Unbelievable ,yes. I didn't understand every single question and it was like building castles in the air . Then why I reregister in uni? Make a hay while the sun shines ,right? Those who didn't pass the test wanted to enter so badly whilst I let go the opportunity? My mind said : "go for it" . Surely everyone was shocked and my teachers said i lost my mind. I bid a farewell to study abroad although the universities out there had accepted me. What do you think? I'm a dumbo or a smartie? You decide.

A stepping stone
It was mentioned that we were not a university student until we got through the orientations. On the first day of it, I was okay. Well , I was scared , of course . The following day, I cried all my way from uni to home , cried while having my dinner , cried while taking a bath and cried myself to sleep which cause swollen eyes in the next morning . My dad told me to resign but I didn't want. I will be a loser if I stop. I didn't cry because being bullied or sth. It was a heartache . I didn't understand why there are still racist people . I once read about super mario . He's an Italian , created by Japanese, speaks English , looks like a Turkish dude, sprints like a Jamaican , jumps like a Black dude and collects coins like a Jew . Dont be racist, be like super mario . It's indeed true. It went pretty fun on the last day even though I cried because I couldn't stand the massive gastric pain . It all came from the stress and I was kinda embarassed when I didn't hold the tears. I tried. but I just couldn't stand it anymore.
End of orientations , it means uni life..

I'm having a hard time . The subjects are incredibly difficult . I don't know politics, or anything related to law. I'm a bimbo, I don't know what's going on in the world. I feel like I'm the dumbest person in my class. the stupidest. Everyone seemed to know things , such as the happening corruption and so on. while me? a blockhead , an imbecile girl. I'm doing my homework now. As I start to do it, I realize is it my thoughts that brings me down or I have bitten off more than I can chew. I feel like tearing the books into pieces and deleting all the law articles in google.

Some of you might say : "Why don't you leave everything behind and study abroad?" As I mentioned before, I won't. I will be a loser if I do so. A coward. Then my friend s replied eagerly "how come you are a loser, a coward when the major you are taking now is not the major of your passion and talent" However, still, no.

From the picture on the top . As you can see, you can only choose two .

good grades
who doesn't want good grades? I hope I will pass with flying colours. I know it won't be as easy as turning a palm. Pray for me , okay?

social life
I'm sooo out of social life. Some friends probably consider me as 'an arrogant friend' . I'm very busy catching up my uni stuffs. I seldom hang out and talked to them as much as I was before. I replied chatting very late, very short , simple and plain. It's not what I want. I feel gloomy for spending my time in uni activities most of the days , even saturday. sometimes on sunday too. I won't blame anyone who thinks so . It's your choice to look at that angle .Honestly speaking, I have lack of moral supports. I need you to motivate me. not dispirited me. Try to put your feet in my shoes. sigh

enough sleep
nah, I won't choose this as long as good grades and social life is on the list. However.. with this uncooperative body, how can I? There's one night I planned to talk to my friends thru bbm, chatted till late night yet I fell asleep in the middle of texting. When I sleep late, I will either have gastric pain or headache during classes. Boo me, boo!!

It's a long post. I don't know who shd I tell all of this bcs some hears , not listens. It might a wrong decision, yet I will make it right . It's a millstone around my neck , but I will do my best . I'm tired of having negative thoughts and negative comments from surroundings. I really wish anyone believes in me as well as supports me and says you can do it..

Live your life to the fullest. Have a great evening

Monday, September 5, 2011

I surf with smurf : P

very berry cuteeeeee

Sleepless nights are over. The sudden flight was troublesome as well as exhausting . The careless nurse said the doctor was available yet she wasn't when I arrived . Then, the second doctor supposed to be there ,however, he had a sudden meeting . blah . Worst of all, it's brother's departure . I couldn't send him off ): I had to fly back all alone as well . I was too worn out back then , couldn't sleep and watched dvds until dawn then woke up early morning to attend a must-go uni's organization . I was there until around 2 and hadn't had anything in my stomach ; not even a drop of water . I was terribly tired and once I took a bath , had brunch as well. I fell asleep until 10 freaking p.m from a quarter to 3 p.m . crazeeee, yes I know. An hour after I woke up, I fell asleep , again.
Here I am today, attended a technical meeting which ended at twooo o'clock!!! I'm sooo annoyed esp when we, chinese, were being lectured under the sun . Hey, have a little heart, we were very exhausted ]: Anw, first class for literature this evening . It's a so-so . I hope I can do well and score well.. Okay, will stop mumbling now.

Good night.. where's my mr.right?